Marriages and Weddings

Jacob’s Dream  by Laya Crust

This week’s parsha, VaYeitze, tells the story of Jacob’s time in Padan Aram from start to finish. He left his family in Be’er Sheva to escape his bother’s wrath and seek a wife among his mother’s family. When he decided to return home he had two wives, two concubines, twelve sons and one daughter plus cattle and wealth.

When Jacob arrived in Padan Aram he saw his cousin Rachel at a well and fell in love with her. He promised to work for seven years for her hand in marriage. He was tricked by his Uncle Lavan and the morning after the wedding he discovered he had married Leah, the older sister. So Jacob worked an additional seven years in order to marry his beloved Rachel.

In this story we see the foundation of certain elements of the traditional Jewish marriage ceremony. Before the wedding ceremony under the chuppah we have the “Bedecken” when the groom sees the bride’s face before lowering her veil. This is to ensure the groom marries his chosen bride, and avoids the trick played on Jacob. As in ancient times there is an exchange of goods between the two families. The bride brings a dowry and the groom gives something of value to the bride’s family. In Isaac’s case his proxy, Eliezer, gave precious silver and gold and “raiment” to Rebecca’s family. In Jacob’s case he didn’t have valuables so he pledged to work for seven years for each of his brides.

Florentine Ketubah by Laya Crust

Over 2,000 years ago Jews began to use a written marriage contract. The ketubah, meaning “writ” in Hebrew, records the date and place of the wedding, the names of the bride and groom, and the financial obligations of each family. This legal document was the first legal document in history designed to ensure financial stability for a married woman.

Throughout time couples started to get decorated ketubahs. Now it is very popular for a couple to commission an original, hand written and painted ketubah, or to buy a poster-type ketubah on line.

I’ve been making ketubahs for decades and have designed and painted over 600 of them! The ketubah in still written in the ancient language of Aramaic and still mentions dowry and the husband’s responsibilities towards his wife and her well being.  Some traditions use actual dollar values and some ceremonially use ancient currencies.

 

Joy by Laya Crust ——- Tova and Cliel’s Stairway to Heaven by Laya Crust

Leah and Rachel, Jacob’s wives, didn’t have a ketubah. They were fortunate to be married to a man who took care of them and their children, honoured his obligations to his father-in-law, and was able to feed and shelter his large family. It’s true- there were jealousies and difficulties, but Jacob did take care of his own.

I love making ketubahs- discovering a couple’s dreams and preferences. If you want to see more examples of my ketubahs, maybe even order one or commission your own, take a look at my website: www.layacrust.com. 

Make sure to read this week’s Torah portion and enjoy. It’s the beginning of a world altering family saga! Have a Shabbat Shalom,

Laya

 

 

 

VaYeitze – And he went out

art by Laya Crust

VaYeitze: Bereshit/ Genesis 27:10 – 32: 3

Haftarah: Hosea 11: 17 – 14 : 10

VaYetzei is the story of Yaakov’s (Jacob’s)  journey away from his parents’ home in Be’er Sheva  to his uncle’s tribe in Padan-aram. He was sent by Rivka to avoid Esau’s anger and to find a wife from her extended family.

 At the end of  Yaakov’s first day of travelling he lay down to sleep and dreamt that a ladder reached up to heaven. Angels ascended and descended the ladder and Gd stood above it. Gd told Yaakov “I will give you  and your descendants the land on which you lie. And your seed will be like the dust of the earth. You will spread abroad to the west, and to the east, and to the north, and to the south…And I am with you and will keep you in all the places you go and will bring you back to this land: for I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised…” (Bereshit/ Genesis 28: 13 – 15)

Yaakov continued his journey to Padan-aram and married, but didn’t return to Be’er Sheva immediately.His father-in-law invited him to stay and manage his flocks, recognizing that Yaakov was a clever shepherd and shrewd businessman. The story continues with the trajectory his life takes, following him for 20 years. We read about his marriage to two sisters, his cousins Rachel and Leah; the birth of eleven sons and one daughter; and the shepherding for his father-in-law Lavan. Under Yaakov’s management Lavan’s flocks and wealth increased. It all seemed like a positive arrangement until Lavan noticed how much wealth Yaakov was also accruing.  He and his sons became suspicious and possibly jealous of his son-in-law. Reading the signals, and listening to Gd’s words, Yaakov realized it was time to go home- to Israel. He returned to the land of his birth.

When he left Lavan’s territory ” …angels of Gd encountered him. When he saw them Jacob said, ‘This is Gd’s camp’ and named the place Mahanaim.” (Bereshit/ Genesis 32: 2,3)

This parsha can be seen as a template for the history of the Jews.

First, there was a struggle  causing Jacob to leave to leave his place of birth- just as has happened so many times in our history. Gd told him  that his descendants would spread abroad to the west, the east, the north and the south. And it is so. Jews live in virtually every country, and in every corner of the world.

When Yaakov went to Lavan he was invited to stay and work. When Lavan recognized Yaakov’s business acumen he encouraged his son-in-law to stay. But when Yaakov’s wealth increased Lavan became suspicious and angry so Yaakov fled with his family and his own wealth. How many times has that happened throughout history? Jews were welcomed to Egypt, Spain, France,  Holland, Germany, England, Poland, Lithuania, and more where they practised medicine, were traders, and improved the mercantile system. When the population either became jealous of their success or ran into financial difficulty Jews became scapegoats and were victimized. And the Jews have had to escape unprovoked persecution time and time again.

And of course Yaakov and his wives had twelve children- each of them unique. We, today, are a people of many unique traditions and interpretations.

It is significant that angels begin and end the narrative. As Yaakov leaves his homeland he is greeted by angels and Gd. At the end of the narrative Gd warns him to leave Lavan and the angels meet him again.

Yaakov’s descendants, B’nei Yisrael, are accompanied by angels of Gd. It may not seem like it but miracles happen every day. There are horrible tragedies that can only be attributed to סינאת חנם , baseless hatred. Even so, lives in Israel are miraculously protected every day. In these times of terror and upside down morality we are accompanied by angels- but we have to keep our hearts and ears open in order to hear them.

Have a Shabbat Shalom, and keep the faith! For a wonderful look at a ladder to heaven watch this youtube video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZguOD4hmcw

 Laya